I’ve been trying to keep the good vibes close. The past few weeks have been stressful. And it’s all because of my choice to move back to my home land.
I’m packing and cleaning. Packing and cleaning. Packing and cleaning.
It’s so damn stressful.
It’s a constant repeat every day. I’m also still working until a few days before I actually drive down South. I have also gotten a few new expectations while I’ve been getting ready. Just more empty check boxes to complete. I’ve been trying to keep this philosophy as each next day rises. With my depression and anxiety on a weird rollor coaster, I feel very discombobulated. There are a few days where I feel more like myself. I get hopeful. Then, I’m sucked back in.
New Rule: Good Vibes ONLY.
:Gulp: I hope I can keep this mindset otherwise I have no idea how I’ll make it through moving.
Thanks for reading my uncontrollable thoughts. Ha.
I have been completely full of anxiety all weekend. Waking up to a racing heartbeat and feeling like I should run a marathon immediately after getting out of bed. Sunday is usually my cleaning day. I took it easy instead of cleaning. I finally decided to embrace the change of fall with a true crime book and some merlot.
What are some ways you like to wind down?
Megan Riot 💕
I woke up this morning filled to the brim with depression and anxiety. I won’t proclaim that this is a first because it isn’t. I have struggled with both for as long as I can remember. It’s funny how when you try to remember how you were before the pain took over, you see it as a dream more than a reality. When it hits, at least for me, I would rather curl up with my dog and sleep until it’s over. I always think that I’m going to be back to normal when I wake up, but I am disappointed when I’m not normal. I can’t even recall what
normal is anymore.
So, instead of staying in bed and staring at my laptop trying to survive the day; I choose a healthy alternative. I grabbed my diary, poetry book, and the book I’m reading (Winter People by Jennifer McMahon), and my dog. We got to this little walking park that is right by my place and we enjoyed the afternoon. I sat at a picnic table while I wrote and read. Harmony, my dog, rolled and played in the grass. I had this sudden clarity. I might be full of depression and anxiety and I need to embrace the small progress that makes me smile. In that moment, sitting in that park with Harmony made me smile.
It’s okay not to feel quite right all the time as long as I choose to embrace those moments when I feel right. When I feel happy.
Any depression and anxiety tips would be appreciated.
Megan Riot 💕